Last week lesson.

This past week was horrible for me, I was sick (that’s putting it mildly) and I was in the hospital for five days. I caught an infection from some sick person. And it kicked my butt seven ways to the moon. I was terrified, I could have needed a blood transfusion, and there was a point where I just couldn’t do it and I was ready to go. 

All of that now has my mind thinking, wandering, and just babbling. 

What would have been if I met Guy sooner. We did go to rival high schools. Would we have been ready for each other? Did we need to grow and learn so many lessons in order to accept and respect each other. I know me as a person, and I know I would have stayed true and waited for him while he was deployed. Would that have made things easier for him? 

He told me that I’m the first woman to accept and love him for all that he is. The good, the annoying, the dark, the light. I remember when it would bother him that I understood him, and he would go “you don’t know me”. Sorry sweetie, I do. I see you. I know you. I love you for all of you. 

None of that matters, we’re together now. I’m so happy to be loved and cared for. 

Just like your life, or that person’s life, they’re are sad and ugly parts in mine. I’m not afraid of them. I’m not going to hide them. This is me. And someone loves me for me!

Tell your family, your friends, someone special that you love them. Anything can happen. Monday, I was feeling great, worked out for an hour. Tuesday, I was laying on the bathroom floor with a heart rate of 130 and getting in an ambulance. Axl peeking his head, and crying as I was taken away (says my dad). I didn’t know that would happen. 

We don’t know. So live. Live the best you can and be honest to yourself. 

Our relationship.

Our relationship means supporting and respecting each other through the awesome, the good, the blah, the boring, and everything.

Guy meets my parents.

And the verdict is….he is

Coming from my parents, that’s a big deal. He is the first serious boyfriend of mine that they like and have no bad vibes.

Yippee!

(I just had to share! More details later. Right now I need sleep.)

In a nutshell.

Guy sent this to me, and captioned it “you in a nutshell”.

I’ve never felt so appreciated. I was giggling, smiling, and blushing at the same time.

It’s the little, wonderful things that I hold most dear. A card, a hug, a special text, it doesn’t need to be flashy just from the heart.

That’s how I was appreciated for being only me.

One year.

One year ago, I was reaching a turning point in my life. Believe in me, live for me, and be strong for me.

One year ago, I met someone who would push me, without even knowing, to reach my turning point.

One year ago, it was my first date with Guy. I still remember how nervous and terrified I was. I remember going to the beach that morning, to swim and calm myself. I remember calling my mom before the date, and asked her for five minutes of panic time. (We have this thing, when we’re upset or bothered we have five minutes to rant, complain, and/or wallow, and then we shake it off and deal with it.) I remember seeing Guy at the booth, and all my fears left me.

One year ago, I met a man. A man that annoys me, makes me laugh, makes me cry, cheers me up, someone I can share with, someone that brings so much joy to me. A man that I love with my whole heart. A man that loves me.

We aren’t perfect, but we are us, and that’s what we both needed and wanted.

My brother.

My brother, oh boy, where do I start? Like every relationship, it’s complicated, messy, and sometimes stupid.

We don’t have the best relationship. In the past 15 years, we’ve basically only spoken at each other instead of to each other.

We were so close until high school. I loved being around him. Playing outside with the “older” kids. I felt special, I wasn’t some unwanted kid sister. Yet.

And then I was. I wasn’t cool. I didn’t fit in. I spoke my mind against the crowd in high school. I didn’t drink, I didn’t party, and I never followed.

My brother was not just popular, he was the popular guy in school. He tried, once or twice, taking me to parties but I didn’t fit in. While people were drinking, and throwing up, I was asking to go home. Let me be safe and comfortable at home, even as a teenager I couldn’t stand other peoples self imposed nonsense. Idiots.

Our lives are so different. Which is natural, but that huge difference gives us more reason to disagree and bicker.

I can’t stand the bickering, and the distance between us.

I’ve tried, God knows I’ve tried to meet him half way, more than half way, build a bridge. It’s been talking to a wall.

But it changed. I don’t know how or why, but it did. One night he called, not to complain, not to argue, he called to talk. He called the next night, he texted me during the day. He thanked me for being such a devoted aunt to his children, and for being so close to them.

All of that is so new, so surprising, and happy. I love my brother. I love my family.

Fences are mending, and this time, it’s not only me doing the work.

From my best friend.

June sent this to me, as usual, she is right.

Happy. Nervous.

Guy and I are finally seeing each tonight. We will finally have the quality time that we deserve.

I’m so happy, and a bit nervous. It’s like, it’s not like, it’s a new chapter starting. A chapter of us.

Happy. Nervous. It’s a good thing. Because it’s us.

Rambling and thanks.

He says he wants me, mind, body, and soul.

I’m so surprised, I was hoping and praying for that but I was preparing myself for goodbye.

Now, let’s see what happens when I say it’s time to meet the parents. He said yes before, let’s see if he does it.

As you know, not meeting family and friends is a deal breaker. Especially after nine months of being together, I’m not counting the last month since we didn’t see each other and barely communicated.

I just want to thank everyone for their positive thoughts, kind words, and support. I needed them, and truly appreciate them.

Us.

Plot twist!

Guy chose us. I didn’t not see that coming. I was expecting the worst, and the best happened.

Love is special. Love is true.